April..

So, it's April...

Its been awhile since i've updated my blog..
been really really busy with stuffs..
moral projects..
civic projects..
dramas...
homework...

and now mid year exam is coming..
the SPM heat is on..!
i guess this is where i should start studying?
but the mood just isn't there..
what happened to me?
why am i being so lazy?
what have i become?

I really don't know how to answer those question..
i used to be so hardworking
and studied like nerds when i was in primary..
even until the time i took PMR...

everything changed.. including me..
i've became lazier than ever..
not the good-two-shoes i used to be...
not a good sign..
everything is done so last minute...
i don't even believe im actually doing that
I used to get things done so fast...
oh well.. at least i do realise that im like that
maybe i should try to be who i used to be...

currently i'm:
working on an article for next year school magazine..
so far so good...

trying to study
not going so well..

trying to find the courage within myself to do things i never had guts to do
such as voicing out daring ideas...
warning people i should warn...
yell at people that i longed to yell at...
or perhaps fight back when someone scolds me for no apparent reason...

I have nothing else to say..
just that i'm feeling really moody nowadays...
and I don't always get the boost i need/want..
thus, forgive me if i did throw my tantrums at you
I really don't mean it
but it just so happen you might be the wrong person at the wrong time..
hope you understand

btw, maybe it's time for me to voice out..
I no longer want to be your option..
I don't want to treat you as priority if you treat me as an option
I am not your toy... I am also not your puppet..
I truly had enough...

Signing off,
Chi Yan