Chunk of Feeling

Today was supposed to be a good day because...

1. We went shopping for our graduation photo shoot on Thursday
2. I had my cravings fixed (McDonald's and Ice cream)
3. We had a meeting and the Appreciation Night is finally happening
4. I had enough sleep (or rather, I added my hours of sleep)

Well... "was" supposed to be a good day.

I don't know why but I have this very feeling and somehow, at the end of the day, I find myself feeling unhappy today.

and I think I know why..
I'm overthinking again over things people say/do to me.. people I care
and I don't know who/where to express this chunk of feeling/concern..
it hurts.

maybe it's not that way or maybe it's just a not a good day.. or it's just me being sensitive me again..
but sometimes you know.. you just can't help to have that feeling of being.. unwanted.. 
or being misunderstood for the things you do..
or just when people stop trying to understand..
or... just... idk...
i just feel this very empty kind of ache in me..

Considering my bad temper/attitude sometimes (or maybe all the times), I've once asked a friend:
Did you endure me or did you tolerate me all these times? 

then she asked me..  
What's the difference? 

and I said..
Well, if you endure me, you would be suffering all these while and you will be happy when I rid myself from you or when you rid yourself from me. But, if you have tolerated me all these while, you have accepted my flaws just as I did for you, and we will remain good friends for a long time. 

and she told me..
I don't think I've tolerated you, it doesn't seem like the right word. But I guess I've just gotten used to you being yourself. I guess I've accepted you for who you are. Don't worry about it. 

and indeed, we are still friends even until today..
Not my exact words when I explained it but yeah, I think I've finally put that into words.

-Chi Yan-