sem 2 results );

staring at my own sem 2 results on my laptop screen..
feeling all mushed up and disappointed again..
not depressed...
im just really sad and disappointed at myself..

my personal targets
EXPECTATIONS
Academic English  A-
Effective Communication Skills  A
Marketing  A-
Microeconomics and Macroeconomics  A
Socialization as a Process  A-

REALITY
Academic English  B+
Effective Communication Skills  A-
Marketing  A
Microeconomics and Macroeconomics B+
Socialization as a Process  B

facepalm..
letting my best subjects beat the hell out of me
while conquering my worse subjects...

its a good thing but then
my results got worse...
my cgpa drop
i feel bad..

yeah.. sure i say im ok..
but deep down, hell no ):

but i have to be happy..
how can i be a dead face emo asstard
if  i want to help my mentees ungh?
 
so..with my target unachieved...FAR from achieved..
high chances scholarship probably gone..
which means i'll have to pay off my student loan when i started working..
meh.. one more burden put on my shoulder way ahead...
sigh...

thinking what my best friend told me yesterday when we met
'congratulations for your result'
i dont need any congratulations man..
i wasnt even close to feeling happy about it

but then again..
its up to me to choose to be happy or not.. sigh :/

anyway, i give up..
i dont want scholarship already..

im just going to chillax through my sem 3
maintain cgpa above 3.5...
and just try my luck
and see if anyone want to offer this ass here a scholarship..
thats it..

-Chi Yan-