weak

i give up x)

i give up trying to get a scholarship
if its fated that i have to repay student loan for at least half my lifetime
so be it..

i give up having to try so hard for it
international studies, management, social psychology, computer technology, English for communications
man.. they're all equally difficult subject
and im so tired still from sem 2 x)

i dont have motivation anymore
now that i know i took at least 20 steps back from my scholarship since sem 2 results

so i guess i already set in my mind that
i dont want it anymore..
its too far already~
no point chasing it aite?

why give myself false hope?

perhaps...there is still hope
but heck is so darn small..
how to motivate myself like that? :O

oh well..
perhaps im too weak x)
perhaps my will isnt strong enough x)

but i give up..
so lets just slack
make it through foundation
get done with degree
and there we go
problem settled!

dont question me
you might just not feel how i feel ever since sem 3 started ;)

-Chi Yan-